Well kids, I am ashamed to admit it. I always thought a thing like this could never happen to me. I just kept saying, not me, never, not in a million years. It happened anyway; I looked away from a potentially very disgusting scene in a movie. (What did you think I was talking about ya sicko?) I thought that after years of watching troma, Romero, Old Peter Jackson, and Fulci I would be ready for anything. I mean some of these movies have made friends of mine run from the room so he could vomit (10 points if you know who!) I thought that I had seen it all. There isn't a body part I haven't seen hacked off, split open, or melted with some kind of acid. Kill Bill, not shocking, not over the top. Terror Firmer was worse I'd say to my friends. Nothing I haven't seen before. Well it seems that our good friends from Japan finally got me. I looked away in horror, like a woman.
The internet had been buzzing about a film from the island nation called Ichi the Killer. People on forums and such had been ranting about how good it was. How gross it was. How it held a deep spiritual meaning for them. You know the type. Well, I went to my local video store (Naro Expanded Cinema) and since they have every movie known to man (well close to it at least) They had Ichi.
So, the scene in question features a bunch of yakuza. The leader, we will call him Blondie (cause his name is some crazy Japanese thing) has capture the guy he suspects kidnapped his gangs boss. So, he has this guy, hanging from the ceiling, by hooks that are running though the skin in his back. Gross? Yes, but not avert your eyes gross. So Blondie is interrogating the guy (who doesn't know anything) by ramming meat skewers though his cheeks; tongue and chin. Gross? Fuck ya, but I watch on. Finally Blondie gets so mad he grabs a pot of hot boiling oil and proceeds to dump it on the guys back, the guy suspended from the roof by fucking hooks. Gross...ummm yea...advert your eyes gross...yes. They do it twice...I watch the second time. It makes me cringe to even think about it...
But before you go calling me a fag or something I will list some of the other things that happened in this fine film that I had no trouble watching: People getting cut in half, people getting amputated, jugular hits (the brood spray!) a woman getting her nipples cut off, and finally, a man getting all the flesh on his hand ripped off. Needles to say, this was a fucked up movie. I don't know why the hot oil bothered me. Perhaps it is the fact that this is finally something that could happen in real life. Everyone has been burned by hot oil or grease at some point. Now imagine that poured all over you back (never mind the damn hooks). Perhaps since I can relate to that, and not say, getting my arm ripped off, it looks that much more painful. Who knows...
Since this is about the things I am ashamed of I have a second, deep, dark,
evil secret. The true horror of it chills me to my very bones. I am almost too
ashamed to tell people, but for you my loyal readers (sure...) I will. Here
goes. I love Counter Strike. It started out in college, my roommate had it and
I'd sneak on his computer to play a few rounds. Then I installed it on my computer
(it ran like shit and I eventually got mad and deleted it) and I loved it. Recently
I purchased it for Xbox. It's great. Two teams, a lot of guns, ahhh it's so
much fun! Not that I'm any good at it. I feel lucky if I live though a round.
It's a miracle that I ever get more kills than deaths. So why do I like Counter
Strike so much? I think it has to do with the fast goal oriented team play.
Games are under 5 minutes. That's good, cause you can go, just one more game
and then I'll do something better with my time about 4 times until you really
mean it. I'm not doing a full review (no one needs an opinion of counter strike)
but damn it I love that game. So if you are on the Xbox, playin some Counter
Strike and you see resol (yup that's my live account name) you know that it's
an easy target. (Same goes for Crimson Skies, Unreal Tournament, and Mech Assault)