I can't think of anything to write about. Sorry that I live such a boring and dull existence, but such it is. I did have to go to this couples shower this weekend...I'll tell you about that I suppose. It seems the new trend in wedding shit is instead of the traditional bridal shower, where the women get together and play stupid games and drink wine or something, the new popular thing to do is a couple’s shower. This means that men have to go as well....whoever came up with this idea needs to be shot in the fucking head. Soon. Little did I know what evil actually awaited me at this party...
To start off, it was at the Clarion hotel. Fancy digs right? Sure, if you like the small space and the fact that they couldn't play music. The only bar in the room was a cash bar, you had to leave and go to the separate hotel bar to use el plastic...yea....
So, there are two distinct groups of people there, the family of the bride and groom, and then the people they work with (this includes me by the way). Since the bride and groom work at the same place we all know each other. Still, the party is really dull and nothing is going on. Then they start the games. Yes, they play shitty shower games. The first involved popping a balloon and the second was a poor version of the newly-wed game. Though the problem I saw in this game was some of the questions were, what's the weirdest place you ever hooked up type things. Remember, the bride and groom had their parents, aunts, uncles, etc. in the room...comfortable eh?
After the mildly-innocent games we move on to what I like to call the “Scary Fucking Shit” section. Now, by this point the bride, the groom, and both sets of parents range from intoxicated to ‘rip roarin’ tore up’. Not many other people had drinking quite as heavily.... Anyway, the next games go a little like this. The bride is blindfolded and 4 guys are lined up. These guys are: the groom, the bride’s father, the groom’s brother, and another friend. The bride, blindfolded, has to then feel their chests to see which one is the groom...not too bad. She gets it right of course and then they lead her away again. They have the guys turn around and stand on a chair, so their asses are where their chests used to be. The bride is told to feel the chests again, with a new order, to make sure she can tell her groom. Of course, she is now feeling up their asses. Who doesn't love groping their own father’s ass? Fun times for all... Of course, if it had stopped at mildly incestuous I wouldn't have much of a story, but alas, we must move on...
Now it is the groom’s turn. He is led away and some ladies are set up, he is going to receive a kiss on the cheek. Again, he must guess his bride to be. The ladies are: his bride, his mother, his mother-in-law (soon to be, but we will keep it simple), his sister, his young cousin (13-16 I'd guess) and his brother. This game was mild and dull, although when his mother kissed him he said "that was a dude". So, after that, he is lead away. Now the ladies are seated, and the groom has to come and feel their leg to find out which one is his bride. This of course involved feeling up his relatives.... He spent a good long time, feeling up his sister, rubbing his mother-in-law’s leg, caressing his cousin’s inner thigh. Fuck man, he went back for seconds on his sister and mother-in-law. When he got to his mother, he touched her thigh and goes, hey, that's my mom...odd, I don't think I know my mothers thigh that well...do you?
After that I left, before the incest could begin...I'm sure the flipper kids will adapt nicely into the family...