It was a week before thanksgiving, and he city was dark, but then, a light burst forth, out of the dark... yes, the City of Norfolk turned on it's Christmas lights, and had a parade, a week before Thanksgiving! Personally I thought that Macy's was the official start to the madness of the Christmas season. However, as we have all seen, Halloween is barely over and we get the stores glutted with fake trees and cheap ornaments. But we all know stores jump the gun, greedy bastards... but an entire CITY... a city of people jumping the Christmas gun. A city of people, who couldn't wait a week, couldn't wait for Santa to make his epic entrance to Macy's. Damn them, I feel sad to live in a city that can't wait a week...
So, we got lights now...but you know I was kinda excited about it. I was hoping for bug glowing Santas. Frosty the snowman lit up on the side of the buildings. Something epic and magical that reminds me that Christmas is a time of wonder and joy. I hoped for large glowing and tacky. Well, I took the VARMS helicopter (or I live in a 21 floor building, you make the call) to photograph the epic wonderland I was sure awaited me! Can my memory card store enough pictures to hold all the wonderment (can you just read this is going to be a big fucking disappointment?) Anyway, see for yourself the wonders of Norfolk’s Christmas lights!!!
Spec-fucking-tacular
Yup, white lights outline some of the buildings and parking garages. woo yea! I didn't really want to see an electric orgy of Holiday joy. No, I wanted some tasteful white lights. Notice that only some of the buildings are all lit up? Yea, they couldn't even get the whole city to do it. Some notable exceptions are of course EVERY GOVERMENT OFFICE. Nice to see the city government isn't getting into the festivities...
So it wasn't very exciting and they jumped the gun, but we can all still have a merry, merry Christmas right? Oh course I can! I'll just go get me a Christmas tree and my apartment will smell all piney and we will have a great time! ohhh, wait...The City of Norfolk has decreed that I CAN NOT HAVE A LIVE CHRISTMAS TREE IN MY APARTMENT...... fuck, Fuck, FUCK THOSE COMMIE BASTARDS TILL THEY ARE FUCKING DEAD.... I'm sooo pissed off right now I can barely type these words. I live in a damn brick apartment... even if my room catches fire the rest ain't goin’ down... DAMN IT I hate you so much... I want my tree you assholes.... Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
CITY OF NORFOLK GETS COAL IN IT’S STOCKING THIS YEAR!!