1:04 AM
It would be great to be a zombie
Everyone
sits there and says, "Oh no, zombies are terrible things. I think that
we should shoot them all in the head." Then they bitch about their vagina
or some other thing like that. Who listens to those people, they suck.
Zombies kicks ass. Everyone knows that. If you don't know that you should
go kill yourself in some manner and come back as a zombie. Then you could
sit around and say "Man, being dead rules. But those Goth kids are fucking
stupid as shit." And everyone would totally know what you are talking
about, because you would eat their flesh and they would be zombies too. It
would rock.
But if I was a zombie I wouldn't be one of those fucking lame "follow
the crowd" zombies, that you see walking in a straight line and waiting
to attack people. Nah, that shit is for you mindless asshole's who watch Oprah
and cry and have feelings. Fuck that. I would totally just walking around
and pissing people off.
Some guy would totally be like "look at that fucking zombie, all shambling
and eating my dog. WHY THE FUCK IS HE STEALING MY CAR?" and then I would
tag his hot 18 year old daughter. Cause she would want to be a rebel, and
fight the man.
Which brings up two very good points, is fucking a zombie necrophilia? Also,
can you become a zombie by nailing one?
But I think we all know where I am going with this. If I could pick any super
power to have, it would be the powers of awesome... Wait, I already have that.
Damnit, I rule in ways I haven't even counted.
Also, Popcorn sucks.