11/11/04 10:11 PM
To Whomever I speak to about upgrading my broken female,
Dear Sir,
Recently I have been experiencing noted difficulty with my female. (Model dated 1981) I was wondering if there was a possibility that I could upgrade to a newer model then the one that I am currently using. Also, is there any possibility that I could get some kind of credit towards owning a newer one if I could trade in my older model as well. For the most part all of the damage done to the unit was standard wear and tare. One day it just stopped working.
Below I have a list of my complaints about the models performance, and I would like to request your attention to them for the future of other models.
1. Controls are unresponsive: I would issue a command and nothing would happen. The unit would just gaze at me with confusion. I would allow several moments for the command to be registered, and issue it again. After several attempts at this I would become irritated and put the unit back into storage.
2. Basic commands produce unwanted responses: Clapping, snapping, and whistling either caused the unit to leave the room, or to become irrational about things. Striking the unit would bring the noise level from about an eight (8) or nine (9), down to a two (2) or one (1). As the instructions said, though, this should make the unit reset back to basic start up configuration. Their was noticeable whimpering produced after a strike was admitted, and it would require a series of strikes to silence the unit entirely.
3. On a rating of entertainment values, I would rank this one at only a three (3). When started on these cycles it would produce responses that I had heard before, doing the same uninteresting things over and over again. I believe the interaction unit became tied in with this as well, seeing as how the unit would start to seek responses for its own failed attempts at things.
4. Graphics were old, out of date, and in need of improvement: The way the unit itself looked was rather troublesome. When I purchased my unit, was it already broken? The man at the shop told me it was as close to mint condition as these model's come. He also informed me that with the standard upgrades the unit would look and perform better and better everyday.
5. The unit refused to upgrade itself: The unit would simply insist that it was in as wonderful condition that it could have been. I tried the force reboot, striking the unit, even clubbing it, all according to the manual's advice. Nothing seemed to work.
For all these reason I am seeking a hefty amount of credit on my next unit. Please be advised that I still have all of the documentation of the unit, and you can visually see that no non-recommended abuse took place. Please consider my complaints when replying.
Thank you very much for your time. I look forward to your reply.
Daniel Gillman