8/10/04 12:47 PM
Does anyone else in the universe think that it is odd that cigarette companies aren't allowed to advertise on TV, but the government funds retards to speak out against smoking. I think that we all know where this rant is slowly taking us towards, that is right, The Truth.
For someone who is trying to promise you this amazingly long and drawn out rant on something, I have almost lost all interest in what I was going to say, so I will just blindly attack some of their marketing towards cigarettes.
Did you know that there
is a product that we all ingest at least once a day, a product that has
an element so deadly it could kill you in your sleep and care? This product
is all around
us, at all times. I give you...
WATER!!!
Fade out to some jackass kid
who probably thinks he is the only person in the world who hates
High School, and yet is trying to maintain a look of overall coolness by not
getting a haircut, a
job, or attempting to be a product member of society. He looks straight at the
camera and says
"The Truth"
Then starts to babble something about how Hydrogen kills more people then sharks
every year.
While you are all probably going to be afraid of anything containing water for the next three years of your life because of this horrible fact, let this sink in as well, Just because something has a deadly ingredient in it, doesn't mean that something else isn't reacting that that product to make it safe. Point, when was the last time that you ate butter. Not on anything, just butter. Never? Know why? Because by itself butter is possibly the single most disgusting thing you can eat, well, that or ketchup.
I have some truth for those people. Tobacco is a multi-Billion dollar business. Wait. Let that sink in for a bit. BILLION. Not, say, a couple million. If you took a couple million out of the economy, you would lose about half a town's worth of workers. That is right, just enough that they would have to move somewhere else, or go on unemployment. None of the numbers would be fucked up that much, everyone could get on with their lives. That is, say, for two million dollars worth of business being taken away. Image billions. Yeah, lots more. Hell, it might even cripple the economy, send every person in the world into another horrible depression.
Which brings me to another point. You are all telling us that cigarettes and tobacco are horribly bad for you. Guess what, WE ALL KNOW THAT. This isn't 1940's America, where we still think that it is ok to send troops into an area where we just blew up an nuclear bomb. No, we know you aren't supposed to do things like that. We also know that smoking will kill you, and probably in non-fun manners. Like how Nixon made all those people inhale cyanide gas, so he could find out what it smelled like, something along those lines.
Since tobacco isn't allowed to do any advertising on TV, I thought that they should start a new type of ad campaign. Something along these lines.
I think that the picture brings up many valid points. Smoking isn't crack. Also, if you smoke, many loose women will want to have sex with you. Also, it makes you look cool. That was the other caption I was going to put on this picture. But then I thought that Just saying that smoking wasn't crack was far enough.