3:40 AM
About my shitty job
Everyone
wants a job that they can sit around and do nothing all night. Everyone would
love for the chance to ignore life and just play video games instead of doing
real work. Yeah, that is pretty much the job I ended up with.
Some of you might be thinking to yourselves "That sounds like something
that Gillman would get hooked up with," or, "I bet he managed to
objectify women too." I congratulate the group of you who think that
I would continue to objectify women regardless of were I went. I could work
in a Woman's self help/education center and still have everyone of those sluts
dancing around a pole by lunch.
But back to me. Basically I am writing to tell you that when anyone tells
you that you are going to find a job right out of college that they are fucking
lying to you and you should punch them in the cock-sucking throat. They are
dirty shit-tapastry-making liars who are getting your hopes of lighting Cubans
with hundreds dollar bills to a insane level. Sorry, for the first three months
that you leave college you are going to be a branded loser, working some shitty
reach-around job.
Don't worry, most of you won't even be able to find a terrible job to work
when you first leave, and will live, unemployed, in your parents basement
for several months. Don't worry, you should just hold you head high and know
that you are sticking it to the man by dropping under the radar. Yeah, tell
yourself anything that gets you by.
Well, that brings me back to my shitty job. Do you know what the difference
between a shitty job and a good job are? No, no objectifying women. That just
means you are working with me. The only difference between a good job and
a shitty one are the pay. Every job sucks, unless you work in either the porn
or stripping industry, it is just a matter of how much someone is going to
pay you to stand around and try not to act like you fucking hate being there.
(Also, I am sure that working as a bouncer for a stripe club or as a fluffer
still sucks hard chair dick)
Which brings me to my job. It turns out that if you are able to be awake at
odd enough hours of the day people are willing to give you money for just
being there. So, here I sit in a giant building with amazing wireless access,
waiting for people who will never come. What do I do with myself? I will log
the first half of my night for you.
1. Turned the TV in the lounge to Adult Swim. No one shows up in the night.This basically means that instead of pretending we care about the stupidest fucking thing that could have happened today I can watch every episode of Family Guy... again.
2. Played World of Warcraft. Wolfe Blitzer! this job is hard.
3. Played SNES games on the laptop that I bought for this monkey beef curtain job. Tonight it was Meagan X-2.
I know that seems like a short list, but that only really got me through about
half of the night. I will probably go back and play a ton more of WoW or something
like that.
Why am I unhappy at this job? Mainly because the pay fucking sucks. It isn't
like they are taking me away from what I would be doing anyway, (I have been
known to bring in my PS2 and hook it up to the TV and ignore everything that
is "happening") but it is that they just don't pay me enough to
care about my job. I mean, if I was doing "exactly" what they told
me to do, I would stand for eight hours behind a counter and hope that I could
talk to someone. Yeah, the closest that I get to human contact in a night
is the guy who drops off the news paper for the morning. I don't think they
hand out full time jobs for that though, because I have seen about four people
doing that, and only one of them speaks when spoken to. (although one of them
does look like I slapped him when I say anything. So I call him Nancy
to his face.) And that is when I stopped caring.
I was going to have a nice little graph, but I thought that I should introduce
you to what I do at my job... Also the rant didn't seem to go that way for
some reason. So no entertaining pictures for all of you. Although you might
get zombies in the next rant if you behave.