4/16/03 10:48 PM
OK, I know that they were the first to sign the fucking Constitution into power and everything, great, good for you. Go Delaware. But I guess my only fucking question is this. WHY THE FUCK IS THAT FACT PLASTERED OVER EVERYTHING?
Driving into this fucking state the first thing that you notice is them ramming the fact that they were the first state down your blow orifice. Delaware, not you. You aren't great enough to be born in the FIRST FUCKING STATE. Jump for fucking joy everyone, you are in Delaware. Hope that your stay is long and happy. Asshole.
So, need more reasons to hate Delaware? How about the fact that they banned smoking? In the entire fucking state. OK, I can fucking understand telling people that they can't smoke some times. Like when they are putting gas in there car, or playing with gunpowder. Things that make sense, and might explode in front of them. Good, there should be a level of safety in these things. But come on, you are telling me that I can't smoke in a fucking strip club? Fuck your entire damned state.
Which brings me to another point. Delaware is hell. It is like that mind set during which you wake up from a nightmare, but you are still kind of seeing shit. You know where you are, but you can't figure out why small acorns are flying around your head, telling you to kill the queen monkey to avenge the death of Mr. Roboto. When you drive into the fucking state you just feel wrong. It isn't something that you can name at first, but you can feel it in your skin. Slowly you start to notice that it is like every other place you have been, but things seem to be flatter, without substance.
Look at the state capital. Wilmington. (*Update because of endless amounts of people emailing me about the "error" of this statement. Dover is the Capital. Wilmington, which can be found as an average villa in any other state is just the largest city. STOP EMAILING ME) Every fucking state has a Wilmington (or four) in them. It is nothing big. But Delaware decided that it was going to take this everyday thing, and make it the state capital. Ah... Every other state has a normally named capital, but Delaware named Wilmington as its capital. (Springfield was apparently not common enough for them.) Is the name of the guy who runs the place John Smith?
So if you are planning a trip to Delaware, don't. It may seem like a nice place at first, then you notice that the gaping hole that leads directly to the 13 layer of hell is kind of pulling at your soul. That and everyone in the car with you is now a demon. Stay out of Delaware if you can, unless you would have to go through New Jersey.