3/24/04 12:14 PM
I remember few things from when I was a child. My first porn, the first time that I "accidentally" walked in on a friend's older sister in the shower, and when Willy went Ape Shit.
Now I am not one to tell you what you should have up as your background, but this is clearly an image that you want around reminding you forever of what a great time The original Dawn of the Dead is. It really is one of the greatest images of all time. I think that we can all come to terms with that fact.
Images like this stay with you for a life time. You sit around, thinking about why the fuck Willy would do something like that. What would bring a man to go around and kill people like they were some kind of manikin with a bag filled with strange, blood/brain like objects? This is the kind of thing that can make you sit awake at night and ponder the depths of human despair. All of this because the original Dawn of the Dead was one of the greatest movies of all time.
So why the hell does the new one suck so much? Could it be that everything that George Romero was trying to find in his vision of a world gone mad was simply forgotten? Could it be that the underlying aspects of humanity fading, and the people who were left turning into something that was even less then the zombies they were battling? Could this chain of social commentary have ended with the remake of this classic movie?
I think all of that, plus the movie sucked. But what was it lacking...
I guess that is a good place to start. Willy did not, infact, go ape shit. Unnamed guy who looks horribly surprised doesn't die either. The only thing that really seemed to be left of the classic was a odd feeling that you had been here before, and it was fun once, but for some reason it doesn't seem to be as fun now.
It isn't that it didn't seem like the new Dawn didn't try. That seemed to be the entire problem. It was trying to hard. Then it remembered that since this movie should make money, they might want to put all kinds of ninjas in it. People always go to see a movie with a ninja. But then again, I remember a guy who wanted to be a ninja in the first Dawn, and I think that we all know what happened to him.
Now I am not one to say that the concept of Zombies isn't a flawed one, but if you want to make another 28 days, and make them crazy people, and not zombies, don't call it a zombie movie. Also, don't act like they die. The entire reason that zombie madness would spread so quickly is if everyone who died become one. This fact was forgotten in the new movie. Why? I guess so they could make this some kind of hybrid Dawn of the Dead/Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
What else was the new movie lacking? Characters that anyone cared about. There was the people who were going to die, then the Cop and the Nurse. That is about all I remember. The other 12 people? I just like to think about them as the "Bad mistakes that are clearly going to happen" It isn't even like they try to hide how someone is going to die. They make it very clear that everyone is mentally challenged and that they are going to die because they can't help but chase after their dog, into crowds of the undead. I think that you get the picture.
Just to leave you all on a good note, I wanted to bring this up from the original too...
I really don't see this as a hunger for human flesh, I see this as more of a stoner who managed to be turned into a zombie. I just wanted to give you an answer the the age old question, yes, if you die when you are stoned, you do stay stoned as a zombie. The clip even answers another question, when zombies are on an escalator, they are normally just confused. THEY DO NOT FALL OVER. Amazing.