12/16/03 8:05 PM
People are dumb. All you have to do for this fact to be proven is to start a conversation with someone. They will say things like “My opinion matters” or “You have poor grammar and shouldn’t yell so much. Stop stabbing me.” Know what? I don’t really fucking care. You can take all your bleeding heart hippy shit and move to Vermont and get some Gay marriage. (Civil Union) Go hug a fucking tree and tell it all about how you no one feels things like you do any more. That is why hippies love trees so much. They are the only things that can stand to be around them for more then five minutes before releasing that they make up facts about pollution just to feel popular. Hippies make me want to dump gas into the ocean and breath radioactive gas to become more handsome.
Another prefect example of why people suck more then they should is the internet. The wonderful thing about the internet is that everyone who feels they should be given an opinion is and for free! You can start your own website devoted to why you love live action tentacle rape so much and thus justifying you mail ordering all those panties from Japan. Know what you still can’t manage freak? Making friends.
See at one point the hippies told everyone that you couldn’t have a wrong opinion. That is something that they pulled out of their fucking asses so people couldn’t get them to shut their fucking mouth and go to Vietnam like a real man. Guess what hippy? You just said that Hitler was totally right, he only had a different opinion. Way to go bastard.
The problem is that no one really wants to work for anything any more. They just want the world to come up to them and be like, “Sorry about the mix up. It turns out that you are the best break dancing bear trainer/rock artist porn star in the world. All this after you were no one yesterday!” No. If you want to be the best at something you have to work everyday of your life at it. Know what else? You end up making a ton of shit most the time. Not everything that you do is going to be Gold. Some times when you reach down and pull out someone’s heart through their eye socket all you are going to find is a blank lump of empty dreams, well that or pudding. But you really don’t want to find either most of the time.
Which is why I hate the internet. People think that they can just start an online radio station and that people are going to be happy to listen to whatever shit that they play on it. Know what bastard? I don’t want you to talk to me for five minutes telling me why you feel that when Madonna sings about giving blowjobs to sailors you realized that God was really a golfer. Also I don’t care that your father doesn’t understand. Play fucking Death Metal or go kill yourself.
Know what else is going to make you an instant hit too? Gambling online. Because when you give a company that is based in a part of the world that you didn’t even know was there last week you have really good odds of winning. I am sure that even if you did manage to get Black Jack three to eighty times in a row they are going to be more then happy to pay you directly after they clear all of the money from your account. Just to make sure that you can hold all your winnings in there. You understand.
Also I am sure that the next time that Bill Gates sends you a personal email and informs you about the millions you can have just by passing this email with attachment along it is real. Remember not to scan it for viruses or look at the IP it came from. Nothing bad has ever come out of Cuba though, right? I am sure that people can’t just be fucking with you. Even if it was real and Bill could track it I am sure that he really wouldn’t care about your pirated version of Windows or anything. He is just a better person then that. He will understand that the moment that you become rich you will run out and buy all those products that you stole from him earlier this year.
Don’t want to put all that work into it? How about you just start a
really bad porno page which you do things that people who have respect for
themselves would never normally do. But this is the internet right? That means
that you shouldn’t have to put work into anything. Just make a bunch
of broken links all around your site and it will seem like you are just a misunderstood
genius who doesn’t have time for the trappings of convention. That will
show mom and dad. But you have to remember not to update ever. People will
always come back for the same thing everyday. That is your road to inspiration.