3/23/03 8:12 PM

When did it become that being a male was the worst thing that could happen to you? I remember when I was a child, hating women. Over powering choices that they made in life, and telling them all that they should worry more about cooking then studying. I remember these days; I can think back to not that long ago and think about when being male was the best thing in the world.

Now I guess I am a little confused wither or not this is about other males getting laid or not, or just being afraid of looking like a fool. If it is the latter one you are balless bastard that should be given the "Jelly donut" by your father. I hope it is painful. If you are in the first group of people I have a little something to say to you...

You aren't going to get laid just because you make a woman feel like she knows something, we all know that they don't, and you should too. As a matter of fact, I hope that you understand the fact that the hotter that women get, the less they know about anything, except looking good. (This is simple to explain for the single reason that they have to give up knowledge of the "common world" and devote it simply to making themselves look good.) I know that this is going to ruin that image of really hot women being doctors and stuff, but if I had a really hot nurse, for example, one of three things is happening. 1. I am in porn. (Or having some sort of sex that I have convinced the amazing woman, very easily into dressing up as a nurse.) 2. I am in a very expensive hospital, and am in no danger of dieing at all, (read: I cut my finger, it has a bandage on it, and the nurse is there to "keep me company," by looking hot. Because all means of normal conversation is beyond her.) but they still want my money. 3. I am going to die, and they want me to be happy.

I know that some of you might be in an ivory league college or something, and telling me that there are plenty of women around you who are insanely hot. Well that is an weird happening that we call the "uh huh" effect. You see, when hot women are around you, your mind (read: penis) tells you that what they are saying is the deepest thing that you have ever heard. This is not in fact knowledgeable conversation at all, what it is happening is your body "dumbing" you down, to not scare off the hottie.

Don't worry though, just because women are dumb and hot doesn't mean that you can't have a meaningful relationship, (Ok, yes it does. All meaning will be lost on them simply by words leaving your mouth.) it means that she is going to be easy to convince that she wants to have sex with you. Hot women rock.