7:54 PM
BioWare's
Secret Plans Unearthed!
Remember back in the day when companies would go out
and make things called "expansion packs" and sell them for half
the price of the full game. The idea was that since you weren't getting anything
new really new, and it only took about 1/4 of the time to make the entire
thing that they would try and save the person playing the game a bit of money.
Remember that?
If you are one of the people in the world who don't remember I made a little
comic up for you.
It
isn't that I hate Jade Empire... It is just that I play video games because
I don't want to read a book. Another great thing that books have over video
games is that I don't have to help stupid fucking people find their lost dog
before I can unlock the "good" ending. Unless my character is making
Sesame Seed Chicken out of the damn dog, I don't care.
Side note: If I cared about the people around me, I wouldn't be taking the
evil path through the game. Biting off children's heads or punching someone
for no reason should be a choice. I don't want to wade through eight lines
of text to find out that the evilest thing I can do to Billy after I found
his dog is demand three more silver from him. That isn't evil, that is teaching
poor Billy that when a stranger has to fight high level demons to get a dog
you should show them a little extra respect. Stop calling your game open ended
if it really isn't.
Also, when I can literally find myself asking what the fuck the game was about,
or pondering what I was going to do in the first place you have not made a
memorable plot line. Sorry Bioware.
Another good thing about books: I can skip to the good part when I am bored,
or just put it down and still tell all my friends I have read it. They are
all illiterate slobs anyway.