Interests Include: Sharp Objects

So most times, I pull for the underdog. I like to give the benefit of the doubt to the untested, to the naive, to those hungry for exposure, power, and chance to prove themselves. This is not one of those times. There is cetainly a time and a place for kindness and compassion, but equally called for, and certainly more fun, there is a time and place for bitterness, agression, and kicking a downed opponent. It's also a whole lot more fun to write about. Sneering kicks ass.

There has been a disturbing trend leading back to the old internet status quo of the late nineties. This trend was resurrected by LiveJournal, midwifed by xanga, and it has reached its awkward adolescence with myspace.com, and specifically (because personal attacks are much more effective when they're, you know, personal), Stephanie (from North Carolina)'s myspace page. There are reasons that Republicans sometimes win debates about resticting freedom of speech, and Stephanie is one of them. Generally, we in the Green party tend to shy away from the requirement of say, an internet license, but I say to you now, I am in full support of such a document.

Requirements for a license would include the intellignece to not run out of bandwidth on your background image and the common sense to not make all of your links fucking strikethrough. Also, the ability to properly identify colors.

Stephanie would not have attracted our attention here at Varms had she not commited the cardinal sin of internet authoring: image linking. She decided, for whatever reason, to post a picture of an Aquafina bottle on her meaningless, contentless, purposeless "website." Hey, more power to her. She ran an image search on Yahoo, and posted the result. Sure, I've done that (well, not with Yahoo. Yahoo is for idiots from North Carolina). But for Crissakes, fucking host the image yourself. Had she simply stolen the image from us (which we undoubtedly stole from someone else in the first place) we never would have known, or cared. But, like a goddamned depressed North Carolinian 16-year-old who puts little ASCII hearts between all her interests, she just linked us. She has paid the price. Now a great deal of her site is real estate for an unnaturally large advertisement for varms.net involving an unnaturally large amount of bukkake. And being unnatural is definitely something to worry about for a fashionably depressed fashionably nature-loving fashionable Wiccan.

On a related note, seriously, anyone with a quiz on their site asking, "Which Amy Lee (of Evanescence) picture are you?" should be forced to be a lab animal in whatever grease factory manufactured the amount of mascara and eyeshadow required to drown Amy Lee's manufactured sorrows in every picture ever taken of her.

So I've written all of this with malicious intent. I wanted to back up every paragraph with an Image stolen from her site. I wanted her site to be nothing but "bandwidth exceeded" warnings and then one giant Varms.net bukkake picture in the middle. Unfortunately, it sometimes proves difficult to retaliate in such a way against rank amateurs. Every image on her site is stolen. Every single one. Except for the one picture of her, which is hosted in such a way as to make remote linking impossible. But she won't get away with it. I have copied that picture, hosted it on Varms, and placed it on the front page. Eat that, bitch.

Oh, by the way, you don't have red hair. I warned you about colors. License denied.

-Bucko